Thursday, May 5, 2011

maybe I had a mild breakdown this's coo...

This morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I was dreading going to my weight watchers meeting. Correction. Not the meeting. I was dreading the scale.

Sunday morning we went to a little place called Gee Farm's to grab a birthday gift for my MIL. They happen to make very tasty baked goods here and Shane and I thought it would be a good idea to buy a dozen donuts. For the two of us. They are a little smaller and they are just the basic type of donut you get at like, a cider mill. But really, did we need a dozen? No, probably not. Well I ate way to many of them. I then proceeded to have breadsticks later in the day, and a slice of cheesecake.

And the cheesecake didn't stop there. There were leftovers. And I ate a piece of cheesecake every night for the rest of the week.

What am I getting at here? Um, that I have no self control. I will eat everything if it is in my house. This week is a prime example of why I don't buy snack foods/sweets really. I just cant have it because I will really just eat it all, and the worse part is the whole time I am eating it

1. I won't be truly enjoying it
2. I will be thinking that I really don't need this/I am not hungry

But to bring this back around to this morning, I woke up feeling sick and not happy. My sister called me on the way to work and asked me how everything was going. And that was all it took.

I started crying. I let out a lot of frustration that I had been holding in all week. Frustation about many different things, but all relating to food. You know what. It wasnt the food. It was frustration with myself. For not having any self control. (I dunno, maybe it isn't self control. I dont know what it is that I am lacking. Maybe it's an on/off switch in my brain?) Anywho I realized that while I was struggling with this all week, I should have just called Pam.

Because she can make it better. She is on WW too and she understands.

Pam gets me in so many ways, and I am so thankful to have such an amazing sister/best friend.

I wish so badly that she lived closer. She lives in Jacksonville, Illinois. A train ride that takes an entire day. If I could have three wishes, wish one would be that she lived next door to me. Very selfish, I know, but it is true.

Want to know the funny part about this whole freak out/break down I had over the scale? I ended up loosing 1.2 pounds haha. But don't worry. I know I cannot eat cheesecake everynight, and to be honest, that stuff has been tearing my stomach up so I will be happy when I am back to being regular ;-) (Sorry for the TMI).

So here we are the end of day one of another WW Week. We shall see how it goes. I shall take it one day at a time.

PS: 48 pounds gone...two more until my giveaway.
PPS: I should really work on getting some followers so that people know about this giveaway haha


  1. love you and am SO Freaking PROUD!!
    Cheesecake everynight...sounds amazing to me:)

  2. I'm glad that your week turned out well despite the anxiety :) It's hard to be disciplined--and human at the same time. You've worked your butt off, girl! I think you deserve to be a little human and have that cheesecake, but I understand the tension.