Saturday, April 7, 2012

paralyzed by fear.

I have been awake since 7am. First I layed in bed, thinking about these 18 miles. Now I am sitting on the couch, still thinking about these 18 miles.

I am trying to figure out if I want to try to do that same thing as last week (run my 6 miles loop three times) so that I can easily have water and fuel twice throughout the run.

Or do I want to switch it up completely? But that problem with that is without going to the trail in Jackson (dont really want to go by myself), it is insanely hard to come with 18 miles to run around here without leaving myself access to water.

Or maybe I am just in my own head, and am completely freaked out still about last weekend.

I think the last one is the most likely.

I did want to wait until like 8:30 or 9 to run today so that it could warm up a bit. This weather is driving me nuts. Shorts and a tank on wednesday, and today I have my cold running gear back out. But I am worried that I will end up overdressed by the time it gets to 10 or 11am.

Can you see how I am just completely over thinking everything?

time to get off this couch. and just go. and see where i end up. right now i am leaning towards the same route as last week. because if i do accomplish it, it will be that much better.

PS: my sister is running a 1/2 marathon this morning :) it's her second one, but first one without me. she will freaking rock it. shes speedy, so it is quite possible she will come in under 2 hours. <3 <3 <3

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