Monday, April 22, 2013

crazy long post. #boston #weightwatchers #marathon are just a few of the topics.

Soooooo I don't know that I have ever trained and prepared so poorly for a race. The Kalamazoo Half Marathon is less than two weeks away, and the farthest I have run is 9 miles. um. yea.

I am not sure what my issue has been. I could blame it on winter, and the lack of daylight. And as the days got longer, the rain started. And never stopped. But things are starting to look better. And I am getting out there more. So, yes, I am full of weather excuses, but we cannot all be bad a** like Jeff at Detroit Runner and run outside, no matter what the weather. Well, yes, we all can be, but I am not. Nor do I really think I ever will be.

I have been running, just not enough, or any longer distances. I have ran a couple local 5k's that have resulted in AMAZING race pictures. Or not. Take a look:

Top two pictures are from the Heart Throb 5k back in February, and the bottom three are from the Race from the Place on April 11th. And yes, it snowed that morning. It was ridiculous. 

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to run as part of a relay team for the Lansing Marathon Ekiden Relay. I ran Leg 6 out of our 6 person team, and I was the lucky one who got the cross the finish line. The place where my exchange was located could not have been more perfect. The way the course was set up, Marathoners would end up running by me 4 times (on different sides of the street) and Half Marathoners twice! That means basically none stop action from about 8:30 til I took off sometime before Noon. I LOVE CHEERING AT RACES! I mean, I literally stood for three hours clapping, and encouraging and cheering on the runners. I had runners high from being in their proximity haha. 

When I took off, I knew I just wanted to keep around a 10:30 pace, and I did that. I thought a lot on this run, (4.5 miles) mostly about Boston. There were so many runners showing their support for Boston, and everytime I saw a Boston shirt I tried my hardest to speak right to that person and acknowledge it. I wanted them to know my heart was right there with them. I even saw a Boston 2013 shirt. And so I ran along my 4.5 miles, and I thought about how races and running will never be the same. And how lucky I am to be running, and how lucky I am to have my loved ones still around me. And as I came down the street before the last turn, ahead of me I saw a marathoner that I had cheered on four times already that day. He was carrying a Boston flag. And as I came up along side him, I smiled, and we commented on the crazy headwind we were facing. And he said he had never ran a marathon and carried a flag before. And I told him it was the perfect time to start. And then we turned to the finish line, and I backed off from him a bit and to the side, wanting him to have a good finish picture. And with each step closer to the time, my heart raced and it got hard to breathe. And part of me inside was paralyzed by fear but I knew I would keep going and it would be fine. And Boston next to me had tears on his face. It was emotion at a level that I have only experienced once before when running (and that was when I finished my marathon) but this emotion was totally different. 

I dont really know what to say about that moment and the moments to follow other than I knew then that I wanted to run a marathon again. As I saw the marathoners cross the finish line, I felt their emotion and their joy and their accomplishment. And I wanted it again so badly for myself. 

I havent really talked about this to anyone (so why not put it on a public blog for the world to read? ha) but lately I haven't been happy with myself the way I know I can be. And that lack of happiness with myself is a combination of a lot of things.
1. I have been struggling to get back to my goal in WW. And each week reminds me that I didn't do it again.
2. I havent been as active as I want to be because I have let stupid stuff (aka the weather) stop me.
3. I havent made the best decisions with food (and therefore see #1)
4. I haven't done anything new or challenging in running. I run the same three or four miles, at the same mediocore pace, and then I sit like a bum on my couch.

I just hate that when I look in the mirror, I am not elated with my weight loss like I once was. 

I need to remind myself more frequently how far I have come, and what I have done. But I think since I am not doing those things anymore, or doing them the way I was or the way I know I can, I am forgetting. 
I need to look back at this more often, to remind myself what I have done. And what I can do. 

So yea. This post ended up getting more indepth than I was originally thinking it would but o well. Is anyone even still reading haha?

Besides the above stuff, so much more has been going on. Remember a couple posts ago when I mentioned having a big interview? Well, I got it :) Starting in June I will be part of the Management Development Program. I am beyond excited but also nervous for this. I love the company I work for, and I truly believe in what we do and our mission. And I just want to do my best to help our staff feel that same passion. Because with the passion and caring, the other steps fall into place.

On top of that, MY SISTER IS PREGNANT!!!! Yes, Eileen, my oldest sister, who just got married in October, is PREGNANT! Baby Marc will be joining the world at the beginning of August. 

Hmmm anything else I am missing? Well, I guess there is the one big thing that I should put out there. But first backstory. My sister Pam, has wanted to run a marathon for awhile now, but she always said she didnt have time to train. Well, after Boston, she decided she would make time. Boston made her realize how precious every moment is, and to not let her fears (fear that she didnt have time to do her job well, take care of her house, etc etc) control her. She is going to make training a priority. She will put it on her calendar, etc.

And so of course, when she told me she was doing it, I said "I will run it with you". We will be running the Prairie State Marathon on October 12th, in Libertyville IL, outside of Chicago. Then we will go spectate Chicago the next day :) Yup, on tired marathon legs haha. I have not signed up yet but plan on doing so next week. 

SO! That is the update. I will get through Kzoo. I will just enjoy it, and not think too much about time. I just hope it is good weather :)

O! Lastly!
I will be volunteering at the registration tent for the Mid Michigan Race for the Cure on Sunday! Ill be there starting at 9, until 10 min before the race when I will line up and run for my mom :) BTW she is doing fabulous. She is so freaking strong it amazes me. <3

OKay seriously lastly, we took some family pictures for my Mom's 60th birthday. Here are a few:


  1. Ok let's see if I can remember all the stuff I wanted to comment on without looking up! :)

    1. Go 10 miles this weekend and you'll be fine for K-zoo. Seriously. You've got this!

    2. The guy carrying the Boston flag made me tear up when he went by us too. We talked to a few people that had run Boston the week before at packet pickup and it was just crazy. I just can't imagine.

    3. You HAVE come a long way, don't loose sight of that. WW is such a great program though and you'll get back to your goal in no time.

    4. Congrats on the big break at work girl! Oh and speaking of your work, I actually realized we have a friend in common that works with you. She recently started working there, job shadowed you, and when I asked her if she knew you this weekend (she was on a relay too) she was like, I LOVE COLLEEN! So yeah, apparently you ARE A BADASS there. :)

    5. Congrats also on being an aunt! So fun!

    6. The pics turned out SO great. I actually teared up when you first instagram'd them. Reminds me of when my aunt was battling it, your mom is one strong momma.

    1. Hey! Thank you for the comment :) I found out Sunday who our mutual friend is and she is awesome! Good peeps for sure :)

  2. You will do great a Kzoo. I've got to do that race some day. Good seeing you at Lansing. By they way, I'm not a bad**s. I'm just a stupida**. Haha.