so conflicted

I dont remember ever feeling so conflicted with emotions after a run.

I was supposed to run 18 miles this morning. I ended up making it through 12.

I ran 12 miles. That is awesome, right?

I was supposed to run 6 more, so in that sense I failed.

But really is running 12 miles failing? heck no. A year ago I could not run 12 miles. A year ago I could not run 5 miles.

So why I can't I just be happy with 12? Well, I am happy with 12. But I am not satisfied, if that makes sense. I know I was supposed to do more, but honestly, I dont think it had it in me.

It was not one of those runs where I just gave up but probably could have really finished. I think I had tried those last 6 miles, it would have gone horribly wrong.

My hips and knees felt like crap, and I am 99% sure I need to start with a new pair of shoes. I knew I was getting close, but didnt realize how close I was.

So my Saucony Pro Guide 2's will get added to the "walk the dog" shoe pile, and I will get out a new shiny pair of Saucony Pro Guide 4's and carry on. (PS: the Guide 5's come in black and they are so BA. I want a pair)

Besides the shoes, I know my training was a little wacky this week, and I shorted myself a rest day, so I cannot help but wonder if that had anything to do with it too.

This post is all over the place, just like my pace was on this run. Check it out:

mile 1 1104

mile 2 1058

mile 3 1111

mile 4 1122

mile 5 1127

mile 6 1116

mile 7 1115

mile 8 1112

mile 9 1125

mile 10 1130

mile 11 1134

mile 12 1145

My pace may have had something to do with ^^^^ that. I dont want to blame the hills though because I need to embrace them, because they will be waiting in Kzoo for me.

Alright thats all for now. Heading to the Red Wings game this afternoon :)

O PS, did I mention, I got a new ride? Its BA:

2012 Ford Focus SE Sedan <3 Still working on a name for her...